i just thought it more than appropriate to drop a line and tell you that Australia has not swallowed me whole… yet!
I have been feeling really guilty for not updating you on events recently, but the truth is, if there was something thrillingly beautiful to tell you about, i’d have done so before now.
It’s a weird concept, fitting back into an old life, trying to make things new but being met with a hell of a lot of resistance. Harder than i imagined.
Luckily for me, i was literally handed a job on a silver platter the moment i got home, which has been an absolute lifesaver and really gave me a sense of having my feet planted on the ground again. (Not so much in a down to earth way as a way to stop me floating through life!!) So, i’ve just been working, and eating, and breathing, and kind of just holding on till i get my groove on! It’s amazing how much it already feels like Paris never happened yet at the same time, like a lifetime has passed.
But i’m feeling good, and feeling like things are starting to slide into place here, albeit a bit more slowly than i’d prefer! I’ve never been one for waiting.
I’m now back where i started and toying with the same ideas and dreams that i had before i decided to up and leave in the first place. I wanted to start a business, and i went to Paris to get some skills and experience. I’ve got them now, and yet i’m still too scared to jump in and begin something. The idea of going back into the corporate world and climbing my way up seemed an awesome idea when i was flat broke and hungry in Paris, but now that it’s at my fingertips? Boring!! But yet i find myself paralysed to make the jump.
It’s exciting thinking about what i can build, but then in the same breath i think about what i might lose….. freedom to travel, freedom to explore other cities and other lives. When you have your own thing, do you become kind of rooted to the spot? Could be hard for a carny like myself, or maybe the ups and downs and highs and lows of creating something for myself will satiate my desire for chaos. Here’s hoping for the latter!
With all that said though, you will be pleased (not surprised!) that i’ve already planned my next escape. I’m off to India in a few weeks!! Excited, scared, anxious, delighted – i’m feeling all of it, and best of all, there’s a big wedding and i’ll be able to catch up with some friends i left behind in the city of light.
No name will be there, and we’ll be taking a little holiday too which, i imagine, in between Delhi belly and drop toilets, will still be absolutely delightful. Now when the hell is he going to leave the pages of this blog once and for all?!