Short Hair Blues

19 Feb

Recently, in spite of my better judgment, i have cut my hair extremely short. As one lovely friend pointed out, it has hit lesbian mother territory, and possibly the point of no return. It’s taken me a little bit of getting used to. For example, i absolutely could not look at myself in the mirror for at least the first week without tears welling up in my eyes.

Dramatic i know, but true. A woman’s hair is very important, and when it’s not flowing down surrounding your face in feminine mystique, it’s a little unnerving! As Jack Donaghy says, “Lemon, everybody knows that your hair is your head suit”

As i was wandering around town, sitting on the metro, doing all those normal things, all i could think about was if everyone was wondering whether i was a lesbian. or, whether people were just looking at me thinking er, what has occurred on top of her head?

But this was just the first week. Okay, first 2 weeks.

It’s been a month now, and i have to say, i am LOVING short hair! It’s true what they say that i may never go back! While it seems that i am missing a certain aspect of femininity, there is a huge element of liberation in the feeling of the icy wind on the back of your neck.

I got all dressed up to go out last night, finally feeling at one with my head, no longer feeling like an angry lesbian with 3 kids, and more like a lovely bohemian artist pixie.

I was standing at the bar ordering drinks with a friend, and a guy standing behind us tried to get our attention. I thought, god, why was i worried all this time, my hair is fine, and it’s still attracting all these dudes anyway, there was never a problem!

Even though we were speaking French, this guy behind us, head reaching about breast level, interrupts, and the conversation goes something like this

Him: “er, er ixcooooooose mi, er, you are zee iiiiiinnglish speaking?”

Me: “Oui”

Him: “Er, er, you arrrre waiting for zee service?

Me: “Oui”

Him: “Okay”

My friend and i looked at each other and rolled our eyes, communicating the the same thought of, “really, this 4 foot high dwarf with a square head is trying to pick us up? Mwhaaahahahaha”

But then i felt another tap on my shoulder –

Him: “Er, iixcuuuse me, ello. Uh, i wanted to say somefing also, i wanted to tell you that you are viiiry oggly”

Me: “Pardon?”

Him: “Oui c’est ca, i find you viiry viiry OGGLY!”

Me: WTF!!

Ouch. It kinda hurt i gotta say, and while i think a little unfounded, i may had temporarily gone back to avoiding mirrors for a couple of days!!


17 Responses to “Short Hair Blues”

  1. Expat Stu February 19, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

    Perhaps you should carry around a still of Jean Seberg in “A Bout de Souffle” and remind those jerks that every Parisian man went crazy about the look once.

    You fellow Paris-blogger badaude once confessed that she copied the look to the extent of creating a New York Herald Tribune T-shirt.

    (Nit-picky historical note: The real NYHT girls of the 60s wore knitted sweaters, not T-shirts)

    • Poulette Paris February 20, 2011 at 10:54 pm #

      God don’t get me started on how much i love that look!! Maybe i just will.

  2. Uigei February 19, 2011 at 5:13 pm #

    OK, regarding the squared headed Muh Fuh….you know how I always say “I can’t tell you the crazy words that are going through my head right now” ?. OK, well that’s what I’m saying right now.

    OMG, I love a cute lil’ pixie cut. I sported one for about 7 years. I tried to grow my hair out at least three times, and just couldn’t take that in between stage….and all the cute short cuts as I was trying to grow my hair out. I would just get sucked back in.

    After really looking at how folks don’t give a care about how their hair looks and actually go into the street lookin’ all ridiculous, I said self, you just gotta stick it out. So now my hair is pulled back in a chignon everyday…

    I never cried about my short cut. I absolutely knew that I was “The Shit”. I really just loved it. Instead of cutting it again, I’m going to try pixie wigs.

    • Poulette Paris February 20, 2011 at 10:55 pm #

      And i’m only at the narrow end of the experimenting stage!! It could be a few cold winters before i’m ready for the long hair again.

  3. Rossy February 19, 2011 at 7:19 pm #

    I’m so sorry that guy said that to you. Some men are severely disturbed by seeing an independent woman who does not conform to their patriarchal ideal of beauty. It’s his problem, not yours. I had a pixie cut for the last two years and am now in the process of growing it out. I loved my short hair and I miss it terribly, but it was very expensive to keep up. Anyway, cheer up — I’m sure you look great!

    • Poulette Paris February 20, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

      Aw thanks Rossy, i appreciate the sentiment! I will work through it and take a few for the short haired team….we will get there!!!

      Also, you should have really seen the sight of that jerk anyway. I think maybe he had enough confidence because he is not tall to have ever seen his own reflection in a mirror.

  4. Laurie February 21, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

    The best way to call attention to your femininity is to deny it a little.

  5. lefrancophoney February 21, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    I bet he thought you were English. Any excuse for *some* Frenchies to insult zee engle-eesh and the more personal the better!

    • Poulette Paris February 21, 2011 at 11:24 pm #

      Do you reckon? Talk about holding a grudge!

  6. Laurent February 21, 2011 at 11:22 pm #

    So why not answer “well, and you are a 4 ft garden gnome, how about that?”

    • Poulette Paris February 21, 2011 at 11:35 pm #

      Haha, Laurent, if i had a dollar for every insult i’ve thought about since then and wished i’d have said it at the time? I’d be able to buy a lot of something, that’s for sure. If only i was that quick witted. I did however, en vrai, respond by saying “mais merci, c’est vraitment tres gentil”. I think if anything that must have at least sparked confusion, non?

  7. french lesbo February 22, 2011 at 12:01 am #

    Loving the lesbian bashing.

    • Poulette Paris February 22, 2011 at 12:40 pm #

      Hi French Lesbo, thanks for your comment – sorry to hear you feel that way. But this blog is anything but the place for me to be politically correct.

      If what i call stereotyping is what you call abuse, well, that is your opinion, to which you are entitled.

  8. Laura February 22, 2011 at 1:57 pm #

    This is hilarious! Sorry the guy was such an ass!

  9. M February 23, 2011 at 10:40 am #

    we really must learn how to say ‘buddy, it takes one to know one’ in french.

  10. Opal March 19, 2011 at 9:51 am #

    Just discovered your blog! I’m a short haired lass too and in the beginning it was scary…for like a minute maybe….and then utter bliss…freedom! I am an expat here in Paris too…I’ve seen so many short hair cuties that I know I am in good company! So are you!

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