Feelin’ funny

10 Sep

I’m feeling a bit out of sorts today. It may just be the move last week. It’s always difficult to move in with new people and to try and adjust to their schedule, their way of life, their way of washing dishes, you get the picture. I’m sure it will pass, but I just hate not feeling relaxed in my own home. When I get in these woe is me moods I generally want to lock myself indoors, but I think tonight, the best antidote is to go out and party the the pity right out of me. We’ll see how this new approach suits me.

I’ve said it a hundred times before i know, but it is really difficult trying to get things together in a city when a) it isn’t your own b) you don’t speak the language (well) and c) you’ve got no money. I just dream of having a harmonious existence here with my own place, with my own things and a job that pays me a real income, and no anxiety about whether all this is futile anyway as who knows how long i wil be able to stay in the country. Most days the thought of returning home does enter my head at some stage, but i only have to open the front door and step into the street to realise that this is where i belong for the time being, however traumatic it appears to be!

There’s a Regina Spektor song that i often listen to when i need to remind myself of how i’m supposed to function.

“This is how it works
You’re young until you’re not
You love until you don’t
You try until you can’t
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took”

Then i remember to get my shit together and just keep going.

And if i’m honest, i’d probably be complaining of boredom if things were easy!

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5 Responses to “Feelin’ funny”

  1. villy September 13, 2010 at 6:29 pm #

    Oh my, I hope things get better for you soon! Fingers crossed within a month or so you will forget you even felt like this.

    I am jumping on the plane tomorrow night, so soon I’ll be experiencing the same rubbish. Ha!

  2. Poulette September 19, 2010 at 1:53 pm #

    Villy! I have been so lazy this week and have not seen this! Have you arrived? Congratulations!

  3. villy September 20, 2010 at 10:59 am #

    Yes, I have arrived. Have the worst kind of home sickness, which I am sure happens to everyone and is just a phase. Am much amused by your dating confusion as I can’t even imagine getting to that stage – I am still looking for a good supermarche!

  4. Poulette September 20, 2010 at 4:23 pm #

    Oh no! You will be fine!

    You need to ‘legally’ download Regina Spektor for a bit of a pump up and get on out there.Which area are you in? We should have coffee and get talking about all these feelings i think!

  5. villy September 21, 2010 at 12:38 pm #

    Oh yes, I have been trying to amp myself up. Have Regina on my itunes play list for all sorts of emotional backup/kicking arse motivation!

    Am currently in the Marais-ish area. Am in an apartment on Rue du Temple. Am definitely up for a coffee, or even, if I can twist your arm, a much needed alcoholic beverage. I think you have my email, otherwise I will email you my mobile number.

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