24 Aug

What is it about French men that gives them an ego big enough to deem every woman, every one that shows them the remotest amount of interest, in love?

It seems in this country that all you have to do is ask someone if they want to go grab a drink, and there your are, head over heels.

I mean really, come on.

I think i could almost go so far as to say that the idea of having a casual relationship with someone in this country would be bordering on the impossible, as the mere suggestion of a social engagement, by a woman, is considered an official declaration of love. And thereby the beginning of the end right there.

I’m imagining the root of the problem lies in the attitude of French women towards accepting dates from men in general. And by all means, correct me if i am wrong, but i do believe they don’t make it easy, and they most certainly don’t ask men out. When they finally agree, it means business.

So. When a friendly, smiling Australian comes along, who just wants to have a damn drink with someone, a simple question turns into a vigorous philosophical debate in the mind of a French man. I can just see how it would play out in their head… “shit, shes asking me to get a drink, i’m not sure if i can. She seems nice, but a drink will lead to dinner, and then she’ll want to meet my parents, and my apartment isn’t big enough for two people to live in, it’s barely big enough for me, and merde, what happens when the baby arrives, where will we fit it? And my job, oh no i really like my job but by with the new apartment and the kid, i’ll just have to look for something else, and the wedding will cost a fortune! I’ll definitely have to cancel the drink.”

As far as i can see, if i am to continue to interact socially with French men, there are two ways to approach this.

The first is to adapt, ie play it like a French girl. Learn the rules of the game and play it with the best of them. The other is to embrace my differences, and try to use it to my advantage. Possibly scare the shit out of a few Frenchmen, but chuckle all the way home.

I know which one sounds more appealing. Do you?


10 Responses to “Egotastic!”

  1. joanny August 24, 2010 at 9:00 pm #


    Do both keep them guessing. It seems like here where I am in the States – the men are similar, in that wanting to be friends and go for coffee, means the say as you say the Frenchmen think. LOL– Whats a single gal to do, I wonder.

    Good Luck,


  2. wonky August 24, 2010 at 10:11 pm #

    I will have to disagree with one thing. You’ve attributed far too much thinking to the male mind. My Dad once described for me the difference between men and women. “Son, the difference between men and women is simple. Women think all the time, us men, we just don’t think that much.”
    There are three option to what a man, french or otherwise, thinks in this situation.
    1. Nothing. Contrary to popular women belief, men often think nothing.
    2. Is she attractive. This will take about half a second to determine.
    3. That [insert hobby thing] event is tonight.

  3. Katia August 25, 2010 at 9:27 am #

    After spending many years here watching girlfriends try to “date” French men, we have come to one conclusion : the French don’t really do the casual thing, and it’s more like “instant couple, just add water”. The exception to the rule is, of course, the one night stand, from club or bar encounters or whatever, but as a general rule, going out on a date with someone means you’re REALLY interested.
    I’ve got friends who tried to do it “their” way (be it Australian, American, or English style), but it is a delicate game because there are feelings in play here. And French guys can be pretty sensitive!

  4. Katia August 25, 2010 at 9:29 am #

    ps. whatever means you choose to dip your toes into the pool isn’t going to be easy and will probably be full of hilarious encounters πŸ˜‰ can’t wait to read more about them πŸ˜€

  5. Poulette August 25, 2010 at 5:07 pm #

    Joanny – What IS a single girl to do? But keep ’em guessing i shall. I’ll try a bit of both maybe!

    Wonky – There is no way you can be French. Your version of the male mind is one to which i am extremely well accustomed. Hence the problems i’m having with this completely new species. I think if it’s possible, the French Male thinks more than I DO! And that is saying something. But i like the cut of your Dad’s gib.

    Katia – And they wonder why so many marriages get lead astray. I hate this instant relationship game. Almost as much as i hate the fact that i can’t get instant custard powder at Monoprix. (Moral of the story: just add water only good for certain non human based relationships?)

  6. Katia August 25, 2010 at 8:42 pm #

    LOL – I reckon you’re onto something – the French male DOES think more than a typical woman πŸ˜‰

    If you’re looking for instant custard powder, I’ve seen it quite often in random indian shops near Gare du Nord and some of the Asian shops. Don’t pay ridiculous amounts at Bon MarchΓ©! πŸ˜‰

    Mmmmm. Custard…

  7. Poulette August 26, 2010 at 1:45 pm #

    Katia, thank you for the custard tip. I am going to sleuth around today, this is amazing.

    Perhaps all the philosophical literature based debates in high school expanded those French men’s ability to think far beyond that of an Australian mind. However, it’s what they do with all those thoughts that scares the shit out of me. Do we women draw more rational conclusions?

  8. villy August 26, 2010 at 4:57 pm #

    Technically, I should find this a turn off, right? But for some reason it makes me laugh. Not that I am hoping to nab a Frenchmen, but it would be nice to be the less neurotic one in a pair.

  9. Poulette August 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm #

    the grass is always greener right!?

  10. Jean-Marie August 28, 2010 at 11:51 am #

    Being a Frenchman, I feel compelled to comment…
    Living in an AngloSaxon world gives me another “eclairage” on the whole debate…
    I guess a reasonable proportion of Frenchmen are in touch with their feminine side, in a very confortable way, hence their ability to think, or cook, or have feelings and then not very good at the one night stand kind of thing, more interested in the serial monogamist game, I guess…
    You can get in touch with MY feminine side at Enjoy with NO moderation!!!

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