15 Jun

After the continuum of fateful occurrences that played out over the last month, i totally thought that when i saw the Frenchman again it was really meant to be. When he told me he wanted me back, I really thought that everything was just falling into place the way it should be. I think i had basically played out the whole rest of the year already, in my head (possibly even down to what we would eat for dinner one evening in September).

So now, not only do i feel like an idiot for trusting him again, but i also feel like i’m grieving for a relationship that never even eventuated, simply because it was so vivid in my mind.

So many stresses dissolved. But now they feel like they are back ten fold.

When it all unfolded, and he told me he wanted me back, it did feel like something was amiss. There was a disconnect happening that i could not put my finger on, yet really felt the presence of. It didn’t really seem to add up, but i am not going to play the jilted lover card and start suggesting the reasons why he might need to have some psychotherapy, šŸ˜‰ , so i’ll put an end to this now! But i will say that i think it was less about him wanting me, and more about him wanting not to be alone.

It’s hard to imagine that this whole situation is not a punishment for a weak character. Perhaps for lacking the discipline to say no. In any case, it is what it is. And it’s over.

My best friend told me in an email just today that we all have a crazy, messed up relationship drama to go through at some stage, so i guess this is mine.

I’ve dodged a bullet, i understand that, but i’m just going to feel a little bit sorry for myself for a little bit longer. I am a Leo, after all.

And just to close, i should mention that the continued presence of Mr. No Name, like any good medicine, has definitely assisted in reducing the severity of my ailments.

So to speak šŸ˜‰


3 Responses to “Epilogue”

  1. Liberty June 16, 2010 at 9:43 am #

    xx sending love straight from the deal or no deal set xx

  2. liz June 16, 2010 at 6:20 pm #

    omg!! i have so much to say about this. just first, off, dont worry cuz ur not alone. as i mentioned before, i have had a crazy drawn-out situation with a frenchie for YEARS. and ur best friend is TOTALLY right – we all have to go thru this kind of crazy relationship drama at some point. it will make us all the wiser in the end…

    i do kind of agree that people will only treat u the way u allow them to treat u. (going along with what u were saying about it being punishment for having weak character). that is something we need to work on!!!

    finally, i have to comment on what u said: “i think it was less about him wanting me, and more about him wanting not to be alone”. THESE ARE EXACTLY THE KIND OF GUYS WE NEED TO AVOID!!!! keep in mind – it’s for the best. HE is weak. he cant stand being alone. he isnt confident enough himself to be single, and has to jump from relationship to relationship to make himself feel good. that is a major warning bell!!! he needs to MAN UP. (it was the same situation with my frenchie). forget that. we are better off without these losers!!!!!

    be strong poulette!!! p.s. i hope u and ur brain make up šŸ™‚ lol. keep us updated on any new Mr. no name drama!!

  3. Poulette June 17, 2010 at 6:15 pm #

    Thanks for the love liberty xx
    Liz you are so right. All three of your points. A few people i didn’t expect to have an option have mentioned the same thing, that something was a bit off, that maybe his appearance and charisma was a little too perfect and maybe he lacked confidence. From now on ‘people will only treat u the way u allow them to treat u’ is my new mantra.

    I’ll keep you updated re: no name, just as soon as i get my head around it myself!

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