Will I Ever Understand My Frenchman?

1 Mar

A funny thing happened the other night.

I had just finished dinner with a friend and was ready to go back for the night to meet my boyfriend at his apartment. I called, but he was not ready – still out at dinner in Montparnasse with the two men he dines with on Fridays – as his weekly form of entertainment (and don’t get me started on that! New post entirely).

I decided to message and suggest he could just give me the code for his building so that i could go straight home and leave him in peace to enjoy the rest of his dinner. No response. So i called, there was no answer. Annoyed, i stayed for a couple more drinks and waited, until finally, almost an hour later i was directed via SMS to meet him at his metro station in 15 minutes. Off i went.

I was really angry because i couldn’t understand why he didn’t just send me the code for his door when i was so so ready to go home and not in the mood to wait patiently for my summoning. The thing is, i already have a key to his apartment. He gave me the key very soon after we had started dating. Each time we arrive home he makes me press the digits into the interphone like a parent teaching their child how to write their own name.

It never occured to me that he would not have WANTED to give me his code, though that was in fact exactly the case!

After my initial surprise and subsequent tears (terrible habit), he went onto explain that he still needs to have a sense of independence, and that he wanted me to be in the apartment ONLY when he was there, and that’s just the way it was for the moment. I highlighted that in fact i was already in the house alone almost every morning for hours after he went to work and i questioned what the purpose of a key was if not to open the door in lieu of him being there.

Needless to say he didn’t have an answer.

I told him he was confusing, hypocritical and complicated.

He completely agreed, and looked at me as if i had just payed him the grandest compliment in the world.


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